I thought the sun was blotted out of my sky - that I had so sinned against God that there was no hope for me. I prayed; but I never had a glimpse of an answer that I knew of. I searched the Word of God; the promises were more alarming than the threatenings. I read the privileges of the people of God, but with the fullest persuasion that they were not for me. The secret of my distress was this: I did not know the Gospel. I was in a Christian land; I had Christian parents; but I did not fully understand the freeness and simplicity of the Gospel.
I attended the places of worship in the town where I lived, but I honestly believe I did not hear the Gospel fully preached. I do not blame the men, however. One man preached the divine sovereignty. I could hear him with pleasure, but what was that to a poor sinner who wished to know what he should do to be saved? There was another admirable man who always preached about the law, but what was the use of ploughing up ground that wanted to be sown? Another was a great practical preacher. I heard him, but it was very much like a commanding officer teaching the manoeuvres of war to a set of men without feet. What could I do? All his exhortations were lost on me. I knew it was said, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved" (Acts 16:31), but I did not know what it was to believe in Christ. I sometimes think I might have been in darkness and despair now had it not been for the goodness of God in sending a snowstorm one Sunday morning when I was going to a place of worship. When I could go no further, I turned down a court and came to a little Primitive Methodist Chapel. In that chapel there might be a dozen or fifteen people. The minister did not come that morning; snowed up, I suppose. A poor man, a shoemaker, a tailor, or something of that sort, went up into the pulpit to preach.
Now, it is well that ministers should be instructed but this man was
really stupid, as you would say. He was obliged to stick to this
text, for the simple reason he had nothing to say. The text was,
"Look unto Me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth" (Isaiah 45:22).
He did not even pronounce the words rightly, but that did not matter.
There was, I thought, a glimpse of hope for me in the text. He began
thus: "My dear friends, this is a very simple text indeed. It says
'look'. Now that does not take a deal of effort. It ain't lifting
your foot or your finger; it is just 'look'. Well, a man need not
go to college to learn to look. You may be the biggest fool, and
yet you can look. A man need not be worth a thousand a year to look.
Any one can look; a child can look. But this is what the text says.
Then it says, 'Look unto Me'. Aye!" said he, in broad Essex,
"many of you are looking to yourselves. No use looking there.
You'll never find comfort in yourselves. Some look to God the Father.
No; look to Him by and by. Jesus Christ says, 'Look unto Me'.
Some of you say, 'I must wait the Spirit's working'. You have no
business with that just now. Look to Christ. It runs, 'Look
unto Me.'" Then the good man followed up his text in this way: "Look
unto Me; I am sweating great drops of blood. Look unto Me; I am hanging
on the Cross. Look; I am dead and buried. Look unto Me; I rise
again. Look unto Me; I ascend; I am sitting at the Father's right
hand. Oh, look to Me! Look to Me!" When he had got that
length, and managed to spin out ten minutes or so, he was at the length
of his tether. Then he looked at me under the gallery, and I daresay,
with so few present, he knew me to be a stranger. He said said, "Young
man, you look very miserable." Well, I did; but I had not been accustomed
to have remarks made on my personal appearance from the pulpit before.
However, it was a good blow struck. He continued, "And you will always
be miserable - miserable in life and miserable in death - if you do not
obey my text. But if you obey now, this moment, you will be saved."
Then he shouted as only a Primitive Methodist can, "Young man, look to
Jesus Christ". There and then the cloud was gone, the darkness had
rolled away, and that moment I saw the sun; and I could have risen that
moment and sung with the most enthusiastic of them of the precious blood
of Christ, and the simple faith which looks alone to Him. Oh, that
somebody had told me before. Look to Jesus Christ and you shall be
saved.